phobias:

"how are you single?"

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(via l-aughterr)

156,142 notes

drugsupplier:

calling your friends like

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(via l-aughterr)

97,288 notes
Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

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(Source: beautilation, via l-aughterr)

668,945 notes